Grandma’s Sweater
Probably 20 years ago Grandma gave me this ugly sweater. The sweater went through much of high school with me, college, graduate school, a dorm room, an apartment in Salt Lake City, and now resides in my Manhattan apartment. When Grandma passed just as I started graduate school, this sweater became incredibly valuable to me.
My journey to an organized home probably began 10 years later with a subscription to a Martha Stewart email list. Every week Martha would send me tips and tricks for organizing my home. Based on Martha’s wisdom, I spent hours pouring though things and making decisions about what to keep and what to give away.
This means Grandma’s Sweater made it through 10 years of intentional decluttering. For 10 years Grandma’s Sweater lived in a closet with its tags still in tact while all sorts of items around it were re-homed.
Recently I developed this worksheet to help people process giving away sentimental items — like Grandma’s Sweater. In a previous post I started processing why I love the damn sweater so much, and what would I do with it.
You see, my 10 years of home organizing (and, essentially, self reflection) led me to develop two basic rules when it comes to what I choose to keep and organize. (If you want to read more about these rules check out this post..)
Does it have a function that I need?
Do I love it?
For me, the first rule is easy. If something is broken or doesn’t have a function I need I throw it away or donate it.
But, the second rule, kills me because the sentimentality in me makes me love so many things. (True story — one time I kept a pistachio because it reminded me of my best friend.).
So the follow up to the “Do I love it?” rule became:
Is the item I loved displayed in a way that I can see it and enjoy that love everyday?
Grandma’s Sweater has been hidden in the back of closets for years. The only time I got to enjoy it was when I moved or ventured to the dark corners of my closet.
What a waste of love!
In the previous post, about Grandma’s Sweater, I made a list of what I could do with it. Here is the list below with an update on each idea:
Make a pillow. Honestly — I have too many pillows. It will just get lost.
Put it in a shadow box. That is way too much ceremony for this item. Also, I like the casual everyday nature of this item.
Put it under glass on a table. Then I’d have to get a table. Just not practical. This also takes away the casual everyday nature.
But maybe it is just time to let it go. But I cannot just put it in a donation box and send it off. Maybe I will sell it to someone who really wants it. I am just not ready to see it go - even to someone who really wants it.
Or maybe I will wear it to see how I feel. Um. Honestly. It is just ugly.
I let these ideas grow and percolate for a while, and about 6 weeks later, Grandma’s Sweater found a home in a special place. I didn’t plan it out. Grandma’s Sweater sort of just magically found the perfect home.
Recently, I created some more closet space by attaching a shelf and a hanger rod to my wall. I call it an open closet. (I plan to write more on this in a later post)
After I filled the hanger rod with clothes. I realized something awesome. If I put Grandma’s Sweater on the end, I could see it everyday both on the hanger and in the mirror I use to dress myself everyday.
I’ve been using my new open closet design for about a month.
This means, for about a month, Grandma’s Sweater has shown up in my life multiple times a day. As a child growing up, Grandma provided a stability to my life that my parents just couldn’t — emotionally, financially, and spiritually.
Keeping this item brings me a special kind of peace and stability. Grandma died just as I started graduate school. When I stand in my mirror with Grandma’s Sweater right next to me, I feel my grandmother’s strength. It’s almost like she is standing there right next to me, providing the stability I need to make it through the next day.
Yes, in the end, I kept this item. But, ironically enough, it actually taught me a lot about how to give things away. I now realize that when I am decluttering and run into an item I love, I better be ready to go through this process of reflection again. If I am not willing to go through a deep process of reflection for an item, then the item is not worth keeping.
Now, when I run into items I think I love, I realize they aren’t worth the mental journey that Grandma’s Sweater was worth, and it is much easier for me to release them.
If you are like me, and struggle to declutter because you are a bit of a sentimental mess, consider joining M.O.M. January 2021 Minimize and Organize Workgroup. We will do some vision planning, some action planning around sentimental items, and some system designing.
